Through the Desert on a Horse with No Name or Two-for-One Special on Near-Death Experiences

Friday, we headed for a town called Baños on our first unsupervised trip. Just the bus ride should have served as warning that the weekend was going to be nothing but ridiculous. For instance, after waiting a good long while for the bus’ flat to get changed, Jenna announced to half the bus “Estoy lindo!” Unfortunately, her intended comment, “Estoy lista!” (I’m ready!) is a far cry from “I am a pretty boy!” Then, the driver put on “George de la Selva” (“George of the Jungle”) and all was right with the world. The irony of the movie choice will be explained in a few paragraphs.

In any case, we showed up in Baños around 7 without plans, reservations or any idea where the other half of our group from another bus might be. Livin’ on the edge, man! Incidentally, this may seem obvious to some but looking for a bathroom in a town called Baños is not the easiest of tasks…tricky things, those signs. After finding the others, grabbing some grub and checking into a hostel, we did what college students do best and went to a discoteca to try out our salsa moves. Let’s not go there, shall we? At least midnight pizza and Fanta was a success.

The next morning, nine of us decided to go horseback riding in the mountains. And thus the real adventure begins… As we’re just getting out of town, Lindsey drops her jacket so the guide, Hugo, hops off to get it and asks Jenna to hold his horse. He tells us to continue and since it generally doesn’t take much to pick up a jacket, we do. A few minutes later we realize he and Jenna are nowhere in sight. Someone points us down a trail so we head out on a search and rescue. Flash forward an hour and a half (after we have successfully gone through a village, across a highway and up the mountain trail sans guide) we finally find both Hugo and Jenna, whose face is a mix of relief and murderous rage. A few of us begin to realize why when Hugo tells us how “bonita” we are. Well, that’s one way to get the horse to canter. The rest of the ride was amazing…five hours of breathtaking views, steep muddy trails, a hiccup of a puff from Tungurahua volcano, a few scenes that made me feel like I stepped out of “Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken” (minus the blindness and the Steel Pier…never mind.) and very sore behinds.

That night we took a “chiva” up the mountain. Picture one of those British double-decker busses. Now smush it into a box shape, paint it neon green, remove the seats on the top, loosen all safety rails slightly and add blasting speakers. That, my friends, is a chiva. About ten or twelve of us climbed up and crammed onto the roof for the ride up. Let me just emphasize how illegal this would be in the U.S. As proven by my last entry, safety precautions are kind of an afterthought here. So we’re riding along on top of a bus, belting out garbled Spanish songs and generally not paying attention to the foliage around. Recall that I said watching “George de la Selva” was ironic. Nothing like turning your head to see Bruce’s feet flailing through the air as he hangs on to the chiva rail with one hand. Watch out for that tree, Bruce. All limbs intact (human and tree), we hit the mountain for a little bonfire, a lot of pictures and general good times.

Sunday morning, four of us went to Mass at the Basilica amongst tons of different people – indigenous families, local people of all classes, surprisingly few tourists. In addition to being a very nice Mass and a beautiful church, it was a great way to check out a little culture too.

Final adventure of the weekend: ATVing. Bruce rented an ATV (all terrain vehicle – like a big four wheeled motorcycle) and I hopped on for the ride. It was pretty sweet just flying through town and down the highway. That is, of course, until we took a turn, had a bit of fumblage of feet and I assisted Bruce in busting up his ankle (which I’ve been told about 40 times is not my fault...Who knows? Maybe Bruce just has bad luck with near-death experiences.) In trying to restart the ATV we also ran across the warning saying 1) You should only have one rider. 2) You shouldn’t ride on paved surfaces. Silly Ecuador, I’ve definitely seen ATVs here with 4 people on them. They really ought to correct those warnings. Someone could get hurt! We hit a trail though a village, got chased twice by dogs (And once again, I have the urge to compare my experience here to a video game.) and had to periodically get off and push the ATV while Bruce steered. We got a few funny looks for that one. All in all, it was crazy fun (probably a bit more for me). Bruce’s ankle is now in a partial cast and I’m on personal assistant duty until it heals. Good thing we didn’t go through with bridge jumping…near death experiences could be contagious!